Jeremy Clarkson is a god!

Old Jezza

Those who've known me for some time may be a touch surprised that I've decided to take up writing a blog.

You see, I've never really been known as a writery, booky, readery kind of guy.

Action movies yes, interested in football and now I live in New Zealand, rugby yes. Discovery and History Channel watching absolutely, and quoting amusingly obscure Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer jokes definitely, but reading and now writing, well it's never really been my bag.

That was until I got a job working for a newspaper in 2008.

Used to getting my own way 

No, I wasn't a journalist, I was the paper's General Manager.  Not an immediate connection I appreciate but being a car fan and used to getting my own way, I decided the paper would spend some time developing a fun and engaging motoring section.

The centre-piece of this new what would soon become majesty in community newspaper-dom, would be a marvelously funny and entertaining piece of motoring journalism from me. Yes I know I can be a touch bashful at times!

You know the kind of thing I'm on about, four to six pages of car advertising surrounded by various small pieces of editorial concerning the latest releases from the planet's car makers.

Now while publicly my goal in pushing for the further development of such a section of the newspaper was to aid the success of the title, privately the idea of having a car delivered to us by a local car dealer thus me getting to drive a different type of vehicle each and every week did cause some involuntary movement in the old pants area.

Slaying the wildebeest

Jeremy Clarkson is a god amongst men and the BBC should be utterly ashamed of themselves, there I said it.

Infact, I'd argue that in light of the manner in which the BBC canned Top Gear recently, were Jezza to challenge old David Cameron in the upcoming UK general election on a platform of badger baiting and slaying of the wildebeest, I suspect he'd win.

So yes, I'm a fan of the unjustly treated Mr Clarkson, I believe wholeheartedly in the 'don't take things so seriously' school of thought and as a result it's just possible you may, just may, find some similarities in his style of writing and  my own.

Killing next door's tree

Now I most heartily believe opinion writing should be fun.  It should be an unabashed, uncensored and hopefully a funny view, providing a lighthearted commentary on whatever may be the subject of a given missive.

One should of course avoid unacceptable areas of controversy such as racism, bigotry, my fondness for cakes or indeed hate speech of any kind.

The one entirely acceptable exception to this rule is of course those of an environmental disposition. You know, those who insist that by breathing I'm somehow killing the tree in next door's garden, or that in my attempts at removing my morning windage, I'm somehow causing Mrs Polarbear to have cubs with two heads!

Clearly neither of these are accurate and as a result  Nigel and Flo are placed squarely in the 'fair game' column and ideally targets for a well placed daisy cutter!

Hamfisted nonsense

In an attempt to wind up this hamfisted collection of words I call the first entry into my virginal blog, I feel the need to impart to you one of my inspirations in all this nonsense.
You see, I remember whilst in a role as general manager for a firm of lawyers in New Plymouth, I wrote several small articles for the news section of the website I had developed to promote the firm. One of the partners commented on reading the article that they thought I wrote well.  Unfortunately this was then ruined entirely with their next sentence.  "Especially for someone who's not been to university".

So I shall put and end to this, my non university educated drivel for now and invite you, beg you, to follow my blog and enjoy, be offended, laugh, snigger, but most importantly be entertained and remember, Jeremy Clarkson is a god!

Till next time,
Gordy